Meet Stephanie Ellis | Mother, Psychologist, & Author

We had the good fortune of connecting with Stephanie Ellis and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Stephanie, is there something you believe many others might not?
That you should try to make your passion your job. Work will always ultimately be work, and even if you can manage to make chasing your dreams pay the bills most of the time, at some point you’ll wake up on a Tuesday and be tired and not go to work. If that was your passion, the joy has been stolen! Rather, make sure you are genuinely INTERESTED in your job/career – interest is something you can’t force, but it also won’t fail you. Save your passion for projects!

Like most people, my career has been mostly built on “planned happenstance” – this is a notion in career theory that the career trajectory is only minimally informed by your own goals, but very much your openness to opportunities that show up for you. Occasionally, something will grip me and I’ll figure out a way to make it happen, but it’s mostly been adjusting to and investing in what’s in front of me.

If it’s important that I say something important and “wise,” it would be that a lasting, satisfying career has to be balanced between heart and brain, or feelings and thinking. If you’re lucky enough to have some say in your career, like I have, there’s a way to synthesize what’s rational and what feels right without compromising. I’d say that’s my guiding star.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
The best thing about my career is that I get to live with integrity all the time. I have enough flexibility of skills and experience that if the powers-that-be at my job ever start acting in ways that feel fishy, I can bail and go on helping people in meaningful, fulfilling ways in a different context.

The other great thing is that I can sublimate my anger into things I really care about. Seriously – I can do therapy ANYTIME, but I can only ever write when I’m angry! I wrote my therapist training book after getting angry at sloppy, profit driven training systems, I wrote the Transitions Guided Journal series and Half Price Therapy because of the lack of access to low-cost, high quality mental health treatment. I find the energy after work to write and speak about starting high schools at 8:30 or later because I’m angry at how school districts (who should know better!) ignore the research that could make our teens healthier, safer, and more productive! That’s what I mean about saving your passion for your projects.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
The Menil is a great little museum, and there’s a park right next to it that’s perfect for a picnic (if the weather’s nice). For an outdoorsy friend, you can’t beat walking (and people-watching) along Buffalo Bayou. And while you’re over there, check out the underground cisterns. For a cozy reading spot, though, Lanier Theological Library. Nightlife, I’d have to say Club Tropicana for salsa dancing! Anytime eats and drinks – General Public is my go-to; they have a great happy hour and sunset shots! But really, Houston has such an amazing food culture, it’s hard to go wrong. Same with religious culture – a tour of the BAPS Shri Swaminarayan Mandir in Stafford and a tea service at the Chung Mei Temple, a visit to historical Christ Church Cathedral. If you’re feeling philosophical, Glenwood Cemetary is beautiful and so is Rothko Chapel. And now you know that I have interesting friends!

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
Oh, my, how to choose. If not for my parents, I could never have ended up here. If not for my husband, I could never manage being here. If not for my kids, I couldn’t remember everything that here means, and how much it means. And if not for my students and supervisees, I wouldn’t keep growing, Always keep growing!

I’d also give a special shoutout to my most impactful supervisors – Mike, Tony, Dave, Dave & Michael. And the authors of the classic texts that built and inform my professional work (Irv, Gene, Carl, Carl, Carl, Viktor, Alfred, Albert, Karen, Cloe, Bill, William, Wilhelm, Elizabeth, Abe, Sigmund, Virginia, Ken, Lev, BF, Rollo, Fritz, Dan, Dan, Dan, Søren, Marvin, Martin, Martin, Milton, John, Jay, Jacob, Joseph, Julian, Michael, Michael, Mihaly, Bessel, Bruce, Eric, Erik, Erich, Frieda, Peter, Paul, Phil, Sue, Esther, Otto, Tem, Dick, & Harry.)

Website: www.diligentpage.com

Twitter: @ellistangents

Youtube: @starthighschoollater

Other: https://renewinghope.net/staff/dr-stephanie-ellis