We had the good fortune of connecting with Julie Burke and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Julie, we’d love to hear what makes you happy.
When I was in grad school, a classmate of mine wanted to write a paper (I don’t even remember what the class was) about happiness…but at the very beginning of her search for research articles, she realized this would be a difficult (at best) topic because there isn’t ONE definition of “happy” and what happy means or looks like for people is so nuanced for countless reasons. Now, in addition to having a private practice, I teach psychology classes part time at a private school and I try to challenge my students with this by asking various questions like: “Do you think happiness is universal?” or “Why do you think “happy” would be difficult to research?” The wisdom that these 16, 17, 18 year olds give me always makes me smile and proud to be their teacher because at this formative age, they’re able to take a step back and reflect on something as simple (and also complicated) as the emotional experience of happiness. In preparation for this question, I asked Alexa to play “happy music” & the first song that came on was “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift. This song does, indeed, make me happy.
When I think about what makes me happy, I think about a million things (both small & big). Things that make me happy, include (but are not limited to): when my plants get new leaves, when I read (or finish a book that gave me a lot of feels), doing yoga (which can also sometimes make me mad…ha). I’m a BIG lover of live music…the sensory & emotional experiences of live music make me happy (I could go into a list of my favorite people I’ve seen live…but I’ll save that for another day). Being around people…MY people…make me feel happy. If you’re reading this and are wondering “is she referring to me?” (the answer is probably “yes”…you know who you are and I’m forever grateful for you). Trying new things (usually) makes me happy…but so does delighting in things/experiences that feel nostalgic…like watching favorite TV shows or movies (like New Girl or Big Fish). Last tangible thing that comes to mind…flowers & glitter nail polish. Sometimes it really is the little things. Spending time with my nieces & nephews (biologically, I have 2…with chosen family, I have 6. How special is that?) Anyway…spending time with them stirs up a sense of love and happiness that I can’t quite put into words. That’s a different and very special kind of happiness. On that note with my nieces, specifically–it makes me happy that they will grow up seeing women in their lives doing badass things. They have generations of badass women around them and I’m honored and grateful (and so happy) to be one of them and to be part of the group that shows them what girl power & empowerment really entails…this is true for my chosen family of nieces, too. I think part of that is modeling and honoring that it is okay, always, to be silly and to have fun. It feels really good.
Memories (again…pending the memory) make me happy. As “Shake It Off” plays, I think about dancing to this song at my best friend’s wedding (which was one of my favorite days–it was SO fun). Thinking about memories with best friends now make me think about riding the carousel in Central Park with another bestie (or walking around Denver with them…good. times.) I can’t help but think about watching Golden Girls with my uncle, too. These moments make me happy. Memories where I’ve laughed or cried or have been surprised with people, too…all of these make me happy.
My therapist makes me happy! She also makes me mad (and she lovingly knows this). Thanks to being in therapy (with the same person for 5+ years now), I am able to experience a wide range of emotional experiences fully & authentically…and it’s made my experience of happiness so much deeper. On that note, it’s also made my sadness or anger or other things stronger, too. And in a book I read recently (I highly recommend it…it’s Matthew Perry’s memoir), he was talking about how it’s okay to notice and recognize and sit with the sad/bad/frustrating things we’ve experienced…AND in doing that, it’s important not to forget about all of the wonderful things you’ve delighted in, too. In my bones, that’s something I agree with and have my therapist to thank (in many ways) for helping me truly realize how to do that and what it entails to fully experience things in an emotionally responsible and safe way. Being people’s therapist and confidant/safe person/space holder also makes me proud and incredibly happy.
Years ago I watched a TED Talk about experiencing awe in everyday moments and that awe isn’t necessarily this rare, unreachable thing…rather, you can experience awe when you listen to a song you love or see a sunset or even just go outside and take a deep breathe of fresh air. I’m realizing that I feel similarly about happiness…I experience everyday moments that have created a million little memories and experiences of what makes me happy. It’s equally a wonderful question to answer (and an impossible one) because there is, and will never be, just ONE thing that makes me happy.
Can you give our readers an introduction to your business? Maybe you can share a bit about what you do and what sets you apart from others?
I am the owner + therapist of Violet Crown Therapy, a private practice in Austin, Texas. As a clinician, my main goal is to support people with navigating vulnerability, authenticity, and connection in their lives (whatever that may look like for them); I also have 16 years experience (woah) working with and supporting individuals with (or impacted by) developmental disabilities–particularly autism. The youngest person I currently work with is a tween (soon to be teen!) and the oldest person I’ve worked with was in their late 80s. To be a therapist is the greatest honor and the coolest job; I may be biased in saying that, but in my heart of hearts, I believe that to be true.
To become a licensed therapist in Texas, after grad school, you have to obtain a provisional license and work under the supervision of a clinician (with a supervisor license) for 3,000 hours. It’s a lot, y’all. I am SO stoked to share that in early 2024, I will be a Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor (LPC-S) and will be able to support provisionally licensed clinicians through the process of working towards full licensure. I cannot wait for this opportunity and to meet the future therapists I will be able to work with (and see grow and learn and figure out their identity as a clinician).
As a therapist, during every first session with a new client, I (in so many words) share the following sentiment with people: “Just because I ask you a question, does not mean you have to answer it. And you can ask me anything you want, but that doesn’t mean I’ll answer it either”. I mean it wholeheartedly–I want to create a sense of safety and autonomy with the clients I work with and let them determine if/when they want to share things about their lives with me. Similarly, the therapeutic relationship is SUCH a personal one…I want people to have permission to ask me questions they’re curious about. To date, I have only been asked one or two questions that I didn’t feel comfortable answering (and it was something the client and I were able to laugh about), however, I show up honestly & authentically with the people I work with. If/when appropriate, I have told clients about personal experiences of mine…when I do this, the intention is to help people realize they are NOT alone (and there is a sense of humanity/community in life experiences). I will also gladly share book, tv/movie, and/or restaurant recommendations (or accept them). No pressure, though!
I’ve been a licensed therapist since 2016; I want to say that my confidence and self-assuredness has been WORK and I’ve had to confront and disentangle a lot of imposter syndrome and people pleasing tendencies to get to where I am…key word here: WORK. Whether it was a workshop, a conversation with a friend, or the supervisor I worked with (when I was working towards those 3,000 hours), I had a to learn what my worth was (both personally and professionally) and I’m grateful to say I’ve learned that and am able to delight in it. Having said that…imposter syndrome still says “hello” every now & then and when it does, I’ve learned how to manage it in ways that feel effective (as opposed to letting it take over). #growth
Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
I get a week long trip to do my favorite things in Austin? Sign me up! In no particular order, I think the itinerary would include the following things:
-Cosmic Coffee for tacos and coffee (and just a lovely outdoor space to hangout in)
-Violet Crown Wine Bar & Coffee Shop…Violet Crown is an Austin-y thing. I promise this isn’t just because I share a name with it! This is a place I recently visited and just fell in love with it. It is a lowkey hangout and just had good vibes all around.
-On the coffee shop/bar vibes…I also really love Radio and would want to go there, too.
-Pending the movies that are out, Alamo Drafthouse is always a good time and could be fun to go get food and watch something. Alamo is especially great when they have special features (sing-a-longs & quote-a-longs are especially fun).
-I am a big fan of being outdoors and going hiking (assuming they aren’t visiting during the summer). So, I would want to explore various places like: River Place Trail (this is a TOUGH, but good hike), McKinney Falls, and St. Edward’s Greenbelt.
-IF someone is coming during the summer and we want to find some time to go swimming, going to Barton Springs is always great…same with Hamilton Pool (but you have to make sure you get reservations in time).
-If we want to do something involving games…Vigilante is a great place for that (it’s like a board game bar, basically?) or Cidercade is a ton of fun.
-We have a TON of great breweries. My favorite being Jester King (I promise it’s worth the drive) & Austin Beerworks is also a great one to check out.
-South Congress is a lot of fun to peruse! You can walk up & down this area and find stores (and delicious restaurants) to pop into.
-Austin is a great place for live music! My favorite venues are probably Stubbs, Mohawk, and ACL Moody Theater. SO–if there was someone playing at one of those venues, maybe check out live music. Otherwise, there are local bands that play at a variety of places throughout Austin–perhaps we’d do something like that.
-If we’re feeling adventurous and want to get tattooed…we’d probably head over to TENs Private Studio to get tattooed by Jonathan Fiore.
-Bookstores are some of my favorite places to be. Having said that–we would probably go to Book People (so many great things here). I haven’t made it to Black Pearl Books just yet…but I would want to go there to check it out on this venture. Similarly–the Austin Central Public Library is BEAUTIFUL and absolutely worth going to.
Some of my favorite places nearby require a little bit of a drive, however, I promise they’re absolutely worth it…I would recommend:
-Enchanted Rock (this is where I went to celebrate opening my business! And it’s a place I frequent when I want or need to feel things deeply and authentically)…Enchanted Rock has become a very special place to me.
-Going to Wimberley (and walking around the square) is quite lovely! I recommend that.
-We are surrounded by some lovely wineries, too! Whether you venture out to Spicewood or Fredericksburg (both are worth the drive), you can delight in some local wine.
-And also Arnosky Family Farm (you can go to a family farm! Just make sure it’s a good time, seasonally). While the farm itself is not that big, I spent almost 2 hours when I went the first time JUST to soak it all in. It was SO beautiful).
There are too many great places for food in Austin to list restaurants…but listed above are a few (okay, a lot) of my favorite things. Austin is a great place to live (it’s a little gem in the state of Texas…which isn’t always the best for a LOT of reasons)…although I highly recommend coming here to visit.
The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
I think I was in college when I first realized I was smart…it took years to be comfortable saying this aloud, but it’s true. I remember talking to my best friend, Katherine, and I said something along the lines of “Ugh, you’re so smart” to which she replied “You know…you’re smart, too.” I don’t think she meant it as a transactional compliment…I think in that moment, she truly meant “Yeah, okay…look in the mirror. What about you?” So, I have her, forever, to thank for that little exchange. It fostered a sense of confidence and self-assurance I had previously lacked and have carried that into personal and professional aspects of my life ever since. Katherine has been a huge support in so many little (and huge) ways that i don’t know how I can accurately give her the accolades she needs. She’s my person and undoubtedly my platonic soulmate in many ways–we met when we were 8 and our successes (and setbacks) in life have been something we’ve navigated together with support, love, and a lot of encouragement.
The next person that comes to mind is another best friend, Ryan. Ryan and I only met 5ish years ago (which is wild because it feels like I’ve known them for, easily, half of my life). Ryan is someone who has encouraged me, challenged me, and supported me in EVERY way in my process of opening a private practice and helped me understand my worth as a clinician (woah…that’s huge). When they referred clients to me (or even encouraged their clients to come work with me), that was (and continues to be) the biggest compliment and recognition of the work I do as a therapist.
I also can’t help but to think about my wonderful, wonderful friend Katy (I recommend checking out her instagram @austincitycounseling, y’all)! Anyway…to know Katy & to be friends with her is one of the most special gifts anyone could have. We met in a truly serendipitous way and it’s something neither of us take for granted or will ever forget. Whether it’s a professional need, a personal one, or just a REALLY great hug–there is a mutual understanding that we will be there for each other and that is a rare kind of special something.
I also can’t think about the love and support I get from my cousin, too. After a few libations, admittedly, he (a few years ago), told me that when he has a decision to make, he asks himself “What would Julie Burke think?” (or do)–I don’t remember, exactly. What a honor, honestly, And my cousin, Shayne, is one of my favorite people ever. To say he’s been through challenges in life would be a wild understatement…yet, despite the tragedies he’s experiences, he’s not let the world harden his heart and that, in itself, is an inspiration. On the topic of family…I can’t help but think of my brother now, too. I remember where I was and what I was doing when he texted me to tell me he had begun his journey in therapy. To see the growth he’s made has been amazing, really. I’m so proud to be his sister and to see him choosing and working on himself. Seeing his growth both makes me proud to be in therapy myself (and wondering what changes others have seen in me) and also to be a therapist for people.
I could easily take up space giving accolades, love, and so much gratitude to anyone & everyone who has supported me along my journey…I’m grateful that there are SO MANY PEOPLE. The ones listed above are the first who came to mind…so, I want to honor that and keep it as it.
I love each of you in such big ways and am more grateful for all of you than I can accurately put in words.
Website: www.violetcrowntherapy.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/violetcrowntherapy/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julie-burke-21302895/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/violetcrowntherapy
Image Credits
Annie Ray Photography