Meet Robert Manaster | Writer

We had the good fortune of connecting with Robert Manaster and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Robert, is there a quote or affirmation that’s meaningful to you?
“I’m already in ‘hell’ so I may as well go through it and learn from it.” How’s that for an affirmation? When I find myself in a difficult, hard-to-navigate emotional space, this commitment is my guide in processing how I perceive what’s happening and how to move on.

I used to beat myself up emotionally (e.g they expect it of you, get in line, just do it, etc.) In time, though, once I began to realize that it’s my thinking that’s profoundly contributing to how I see things and how I react, I could talk to myself in ways that are more helpful than some habitual “nonproductive” thinking—this affirmation being one of the helpful ways.

As just one example of this affirmation—the first significant time, actually—which was in my late twenties, I had a lot of difficulty in the relationship my mother and I had– for all sorts of reasons I won’t go into now. Three things helped me in this very stressful and anxious period: 1) Commitment to this affirmation; 2) Having a goal and being committed to it. My goal, in this case, was to have a better relationship with my mom—not by imposing on her and trying to change her in any way—but by going through and processing all the anger & hurt & fear in me and choosing to let myself become aligned with the better parts of myself. How? I knew I had to be no-holds-barred honest with myself (I’ve fooled myself a lot). I figured if I were to have the best relationship with her, it would only be on terms where I’d accept who she was and where I’d be ok with being myself (as best I could at the time) and accept whatever the consequences; and 3) having a higher power (God, in my case) whom I intimately trusted and couldn’t hide anything from, a trusted being who heard and truly understood me. It turns out that after this difficult period in my life using this affirmation, the relationship with my mom became better in the sense that I was able to be more authentic and I was able to see her in a different light. Most interactions were better because I took anything I perceived as toxic less personally—or it had less effect on me—and responded in a more engaging way.

A few things I learned about this affirmation. It can be very challenging, especially at first and whenever my thinking is not clear. What helps? I have no expectations how I (and others) & our connection would evolve in my going through “hell” and learning. This learning starts by distancing myself from an uncontrollable outcome and becoming aware of the situation. This learning starts by asking the question seriously—really wanting to learn, even if it’s scary to learn about how I perceive some parts of myself (I’m already in “hell” or I’ve been though “hell,” I’d keep telling myself!). Even if I don’t know exactly what I’d learn at the time; being open to learning, to that curiosity, is helpful enough. Becoming aware of how I’m processing gives me real strength: the power to decide if I want to continue with some “nonproductive” thinking, which at that time might inhibit the best parts of me, or let this sort of thinking go– letting it pass, fizzle out, and picking up on other more helpful thoughts. This canvas of awareness and power in choice aspects helps me the most in this affirmation—it’s also the most challenging aspects to attain with any consistency, especially at first.

Can you open up a bit about your work and career? We’re big fans and we’d love for our community to learn more about your work.
If you would like to find out more about my writing and approaches to writing, feel free to check out my website at https://robertmanaster.net

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
Where I am in life has been shaped by everyone who’s been in my life at one point or another. There are so many people who touched me in profound ways. I’m especially grateful to God and all of those who taught me—showed me through their own actions and words—how to be more engaged and inspired me to learn about myself and others. So, to all the partners and teachers (not just professionals) throughout my life, thank you! I especially want to shoutout to my partner Marla and my kids, the A-team!

Website: https://robertmanaster.net

Facebook: facebook.com/robert.manaster