Meet Ayana Parham | Executive Coach specializing in Emotional Intelligence

As a parent, one of the most significant impacts I’ve made when it comes to my 2-year-old son is teaching him what it means to be emotionally intelligent. What I mean is, leading him to express himself in a healthy way to verbally and non-verbally. It is easier said than done; however, I want my son to learn at an early age that men have feelings; they can and should address their feelings with a certain level of zeal and curiosity. We as a culture understand that men typically have issues expressing themselves, especially African American men. I am raising one who will articulate how he feels, address his triggers, and name his emotions when they arise.

I am the CEO and Founder of Parham and Associates Coaching; we are a women-owned and minority-owned firm specializing in emotional intelligence. What made our firm unique compared to others is our focus on working with aspiring leaders of color. Minorities in C-Suite positions are less than 1% of the population when it comes to the private sector and less than that of the government. I was tired of not seeing people that looked like me, whether it was a BIPOC or women, on the walls of my company. I watched time after time; white men promote over minorities for doing the bare minimum. When it was time to step up to the plate, the company took me through this intensive course and created these mandatory requirements, assessments, coaching, and presentations considered for leadership positions. After completing everything the company asked of me, they still determined me unfit to lead by their standards. After my perceived failure, I realized I wasn’t alone, and I needed to do something.

Was it easy? Heck No! It was the hardest thing I ever had to do outside of labor. I wanted to focus on people’s soft skills versus their technical. How did I overcome the main challenge of getting centered and finding my tribe? I studied human behavior for years, and I watched as different people moved up the ranks. I started interviewing these same executives to gain their perspective on what it meant to be a “leader” some of the responses were cliche, and others said some powerful things that made me think. If their thought process was to lead by their heart, to do so, we needed to check our emotions and ego at the door.

Some of the lessons I’ve learned and continue to learn when it comes to executives and aspiring leaders of color all start with the heart. How you lead says a lot about who you are as a person. Our firm creates an atmosphere where future leaders can work through their kinks and try new things while remaining confident and curious. We created different programs for all levels of the leader, from those recently hired  to the seasoned executive.

The DC metro area is a hot spot for all things culture, especially when it comes to those from the diaspora. My best friend and I usually have a mini tradition to try a new spot or two when she comes into the city. We start with a Friday evening on the H Street corridor for some drinks at Copycat Co. we love their Chinese fusion and mixed drinks. We make our way down to the District Winery for a local wine tasting and outdoor hang-out spot if we feel fancy. We love going there since we can sit on the lawn, and enjoy a charcuterie board, bottle of Rose’ and catch up.

I want to shout out the Billionaire Bonnett Brigade! I think our name is hilarious for many reasons. These fabulous black women meet once a month to discuss business strategies and marketing targeting for our different demographics. While making sure each of us has our personal lives in balance. We did this while building my company in the early stage, all while wearing satin bonnets. There is a level of comfort when we can come as we are, ready to tackle and influence the world. At the beginning of my companies incubation, I had a vision but not a strategy. These women were able to help me figure out what strategically made the most sense for my company and who needed my service and expertise.